Dear God it’s been a while. I know it’s my fault. I hid when I backslid. I guess it’s like a program in us. I mean ain’t it funny Adam and Eve did the same thing.
Yet the most perplexing thing is you came knocking once more. You just never give up do you? I’m not complaining.
I feel lucky that no matter how many times I fall you’re ever there to pick me up. You know you said forgive 70*7.
It scares me. Does that mean 490 times? I’ll admit. I don’t really understand this because it feels like I’ve been on a roll for what seems like eternity. I mean haven’t I surpassed 490? I am not proud of this but I am scared. I try not to sin but then sometimes subconsciously I lie then it hits me after that I did and it scares me that one day you may not be there to pick me up. I don’t want to be alone. Not away from you at least because I feel you in my chest spilling happiness. Mending my soul leaving it forever smiling.
Like a father you have been patient. You watch me sin but expect me to learn from my choices and if I’m being honest pain is a damn good teacher but you knew that. That’s why you didn’t stop me from going down the dark road. You wanted me to learn from the scares and the things that go boom at night that I desperately wanted to be a part of. Peer pressure am I right. Then at the end of the road you stood patiently awaiting me, your prodigal son. I guess that’s why they say there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
I can never be good enough. Not for the world, nor for your grace but you don’t need me to be good enough. You love me for who I am.. Which is why when I’m down you come to mind. When I’m happy I raise my voice.
Even in between I still look to you. You are my compass. For in this life we learn and evolve. We change constantly. Lose people, Lose love, We lose ourselves, Our minds, but even when all is lost. You’re still our compass. You’ve always been the North point. In the end you are hope when we have none. You are peace when we need it most.
You are life when we are on the edge. You provide when we have none. You are first and last. Our friend and master. You are that which we cannot see. You are that which we feel and believe. You are will un faulted. For you are I am.